God is the grand designer (Genesis 1:1). The scriptures tell us that He created man and woman with great care and amazing complexity (Genesis 1:27; Psalm 139:13-16). For instance, the intricacy with which He created the human mind is, well, “mind-blowing.”
In an article in Scientific American entitled, “What is the Memory Capacity of the Brain?”, Paul Reber, professor of psychology at Northwestern University opined, “The human brain consists of about one billion neurons. Each neuron forms about 1,000 connections to other neurons, amounting to more than a trillion connections. If each neuron could only help store a single memory, running out of space would be a problem. You might have only a few gigabytes of storage space, similar to the space in an iPod or a USB flash drive. Yet neurons combine so that each one helps with many memories at a time, exponentially increasing the brain’s memory storage capacity to something closer to around 2.5 petabytes (or a million gigabytes). For comparison, if your brain worked like a digital video recorder in a television, 2.5 petabytes would be enough to hold three million hours of TV shows. You would have to leave the TV running continuously for more than 300 years to use up all that storage.”
REMEMBERING
While the numbers above are absolutely staggering to consider, it is a helpful reminder for the Christian that God intentionally created mankind with the ability to indiscriminately remember both the good and the bad, and the blessings and the hurts.
Take for example this sampling from God’s Word:
“You shall REMEMBER that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God brought you out of there by a mighty hand and by an outstretched arm; therefore, the Lord your God commanded you to observe the sabbath day.” (Deuteronomy 5:15)
“REMEMBER, do not forget how you provoked the Lord your God to wrath in the wilderness; from the day that you left the land of Egypt until you arrived at this place, you have been rebellious against the Lord. Even at Horeb you provoked the Lord to wrath, and the Lord was so angry with you that He would have destroyed you.” (Deuteronomy 9:7-8)
“REMEMBER His wonderful deeds which He has done, His marvels and the judgments from His mouth.” (I Chronicles 16:12)
“But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep His covenant and REMEMBER His precepts to do them.” (Psalm 103:17-18)
“And when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, ‘This is My body, which is for you; do this in REMEMBRANCE of Me.’ In the same way He took the cup also after supper, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant in My blood; do this, as often as you drink it, in REMEMBRANCE of Me.’” (I Corinthians 11:24-25)
“And Peter REMEMBERED the word which Jesus had said, “Before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.” (Matthew 26:75)
“REMEMBER the word that I said to you, ‘A slave is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they kept My word, they will keep yours also.” (John 15:20)
“REMEMBER those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their way of life, imitate their faith.” (Hebrews 13:7)
Again, without ambiguity, God intentionally gave those whom He created (which is all of us) the ability to remember. And He did so for a reason. Which means, it is God’s design that we learn and grow from every experience, both good and/or bad. Both right and/or wrong.
So, it makes sense that the catchy little phrase “forgive and forget” is nowhere found in the Bible. To forgive? Yes. And it is vital that we explore what it means to do that. But, to forget? No. Not in the way you may think.
FORGIVING
At the heart of the Christian experience is forgiveness. As God’s people, we are never to allow a root of bitterness to spring up in our lives (Hebrews 12:15), but instead we are to be quick to forgive in the same way that God in Christ has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). Even if the one who has sinned against us is not repentant, we are to have a forgiving spirit, standing with our arms open wide eager and willing to forgive (Matthew 5:44).
Peter asked Jesus “How many times shall my brother sin against me, and I still forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered him and said, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven’” (Matthew 18:22).
FORGETTING
While forgiveness is a volitional act of the will, forgetting is not a promise we can guarantee. But love covers a multitude of sins (I Peter 4:8) and when we do offer forgiveness to a repentant sinner, we are to forgive totally (Colossians 3:12-14; I Corinthians 13:5; Psalm 103:12; Isaiah 43:25). Scripture tells us that true repentance will not just result in a change of mind, but in a change of actions (Luke 3:8–14; Acts 3:19).
In his excellent book, “The Peacemaker”, Ken Sande affirms that while we may not be able to forget, we can (and should) offer FOUR SPECIFIC PROMISES when we forgive someone:
- First, that we will no longer dwell on the incident at hand.
- Second, that we will not bring this particular incident up again and attempt to use it against the repentant person.
- Third, we will not talk to others about this incident.
- Fourth, we will not allow this incident to hinder our personal relationship with the repentant person.
While it would be great to forgive AND forget, we need to realize that forgiveness is a spiritual process that we cannot fully accomplish on our own. Therefore, as we seek to forgive others (and even try to forget), we need to continually ask God for the grace we need to imitate His wonderful forgiveness toward us.