Someone recently asked me, “What is the hardest thing that you’ve ever done?” As my mind began to race, several possible answers flooded my brain. First, I thought, pastoring a church for the Lord’s glory has certainly gotten more difficult, especially in today’s “cancel culture.” Then second, on a purely emotional level, I thought about how hard it was to lose my parents. And then, of course, there have been physical infirmities and relational heartaches over the years, but after consulting with my wife and others, I concluded that the hardest thing that I have ever done is being a parent to three children who were created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).
Why? Because as a parent, so much is at stake. God, in His providence, entrusts parents to raise their children in “the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). No easy task for sure, and absolutely impossible without the unmerited grace of God and the empowerment of His Spirit. The job of the parent is to be faithful to the clear plain teaching of the Word of God and leave the results to Him.
Children are to Obey their Parents
Years ago, when our youngest daughter was a toddler, we toured the USS Lexington, an old retired naval aircraft carrier that was permanently docked in Corpus Christie, Texas. Nicknamed “The Blue Ghost”, this former military marvel, which was commissioned in 1943, served our country well during World War II.
After first walking around the lower-level living quarters, the guide led us up a very narrow winding staircase that opened up to the flight deck, which was over 50 feet above the water line. Somehow, as my wife Kathy and I were making our way up the crowded staircase, our daughter got loose from our grip and squirted ahead of us. As you might imagine, we immediately began to panic because we were front to back with people all trying to make their way up the staircase.
Although we could barely see ahead of us, it appeared that our little toddler had emerged from the stairwell and was no longer in sight. Our worst fears were realized when we finally got up the steps. In plain view, our little girl was playfully running as fast as she could toward the edge of the open flight deck.
With our hearts beating out of our chests and our adrenaline flowing, I yelled out as loud as I could, “Allyson, STOP!” And, like a little soldier, hearing the voice of her commanding officer, she came to a screeching halt, just about 10-15 feet from the edge of the flight deck. We then ran to her and grabbed her and hugged her and thanked the Lord that she was safe.
Our years of teaching our children to instantly obey us had paid off and we were so grateful.
When we come to the scriptures, we find that there are two primary directives for children as it relates to their God-ordained responsibility to their parents. One is more of an action; the other is more of an attitude.
The Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:1 that “Children [are to] obey [their] parents in the Lord, for this is right”. The Greek word for “obey” is hupakuo (hoop-a-koo-oh). It was often used in a classroom setting for a student and meant “to carefully take in what the teacher says and immediately do it.” Children are commanded by God to obey their parents. This means whether they want to or not, whether they agree with what their parents ask them to do or not, or whether they feel like it or not…children are to obey their parents.
Of course, the only exception to this command would be if parents were to ask their children to sin. And in that case, the Bible is explicitly clear that we always obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29). A little later in the New Testament, in Colossians 3:20, the Apostle Paul would elaborate more on this command, when he said, “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.”
So, a big part of parenting is instructing our children as to what pleases the Lord. And perhaps first on the Lord’s list is, as long as they are in our home and under our care and responsibility, that we are teach them to obey us and to do so instantly. Because as someone once poignantly said, “Delayed obedience is disobedience.”
Children are to Honor their Parents
If obedience is the action, then honor is the attitude. The second directive to children is that they are not only to obey their parents, but they are to honor them (Ephesians 6:2-3).
This Greek word for “honor” is timao (tim-ah-o). It means “to hold in high esteem or to place upon something a high value.” This word was often used by military personnel when they came into the presence of someone who has a higher rank than them.
This is the idea as we think of parents. Every child (even adult children who have moved out of their parent’s house and are no longer required to obey them) are to give their parents a place of high honor in their lives. If obedience is only for a season of time, honor is for a lifetime.
God is Our Father
As the children of God (John 1:12-15), we are to honor and obey Him. The same principles that we would apply to children, we are to apply to ourselves. And while there are no perfect earthly parents, our Heavenly Father is eminently perfect. He knows what we need when we need it. He loves us and cares for us and has even provided for us an instruction manual as to what He desires for our lives (Psalm 19:7-9; 2 Timothy 3:16-17; Hebrews 4:12; 2 Peter 1:3-4).
In today’s world, among many other things, we have instant pudding, instant rice, instant oatmeal, instant soup, instant coffee, and instant tea. Let’s add to the list “instant obedience.” It’s what pleases God most. Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord, said it this way, “If you love Me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15). May we honor and obey Him all the days of our lives.