For most of us, it’s inevitable. At some point and time, the children that the Lord has blessed us with, will eventually move out and establish a home of their own. For the past 32 years, my wife Kathy and I have had at least one of our children living in our home. But not anymore. With our youngest daughter’s recent wedding now in the books, it has placed us in a new category of life—we are now “empty nesters.”
While I certainly understand the analogy, the best I can tell, our nest is not totally empty. After all, Kathy and I are still alive and kicking. We just have a bit more room to roam these days and there are more worms to eat than there was when our little birdies lived with us.
While it is a bit of a drastic change from what we’ve known for the past three decades, we are embracing it. After all, we knew that this day would eventually come.
One of the great joys of our life has been living out our mission to train up our children in the ways of the Lord (Proverbs 22:6). And part of that training was to eventually release our God-given birdies into this sin-tainted world so they can begin to flap their own wings to the glory of their Creator.
As we get used to our new normal, I wanted to share about some of the many blessings that this new station in life can afford.
The Gift of More Freedom
Kathy and I have always tried to prioritize spending time with one another. Even when our nest was full, we would regularly make plans to fly off together to have some alone time. Just me and her. With the hustle and bustle of parenthood, it is healthy for moms and dads to do that.
Throughout our decades of parenting, Kathy and I repeatedly emphasized to our children that while we love them with all our heart, our first priority is to the Lord and His church, and our second is to each other. For instance, when our children were desirous of participating in extracurricular activities, we worked hard to maintain our same priority structure. Our children were not allowed to regularly miss church to attend sporting events or other such things (Hebrews 10:25). There were certain priorities that we established in our family that were non-negotiable. And everyone survived.
Managing children’s schedules and not allowing them to get overextended is certainly not easy, but those decisions are not to be taken lightly. It has been said that with children, “more is caught than taught.” And I think that is true. More often than not, children will adopt their parent’s priority structure. And while we certainly made mistakes along the way, we learned and grew in wisdom. For us, there was so much spiritual benefit in viewing the lives and values of other older saints (Titus 2:1-8) who had been there and done that. And now it is our time to invest in younger parents who are working their way through the same things that we did.
With all those parenting decisions in the rear-view mirror we are blessed that our children, who now have their own nests, have adopted the same priorities.
As we enter this new phase of life, we’ve come to realize that with new-found freedom, comes responsibility. With our new status as “empty nesters”, it seems that life has somehow slowed down and we now must manage our time in a different way, and we are embracing the challenge.
The Gift of Grandchildren
Change is not always bad. It’s just different. As parents, we are used to making investments into the lives of our children. But when they leave the nest and establish their own families, our investment opportunities are not diminished, they are expanded.
Over the years, the Lord has not only blessed us with three wonderful children, but in God’s providence, we have gained two fantastic son-in-laws, and a very special daughter-in-law. So, now we have the blessing of ministering to them and the joy of serving as grandparents to their four little birdies, with a fifth about to be hatched.
Solomon was on to something when he said in Proverbs 17:6 “Grandchildren are the crown of the old, and the glory of sons is their fathers.”
Kathy and I absolutely love being grandparents. I often say to others, “Grandparenting is way better than parenting!” And our fellow grandparents know exactly what I mean by that. Establishing a special bond with our children’s children is such a blessing. In the same way we did with our kids, our newest mission is to help their parents to mold and shape their little lives for the cause of Christ. To help to instill in our grandchildren the same values and priorities that shared with our children.
The Gift of Togetherness
When we first became “empty nesters” it was very peculiar. Sadly, we had almost forgotten what it was like before we had kids. With our children now all out of the house and on their own, it has served as the beginning of a new and exciting stage in our collective journey.
As we have had more time to absorb our new reality, we’re enjoying all the expanded opportunities for renewed togetherness. We’ve been husband and wife for more than 35 years, but just as importantly, we have always been friends. And as friends who share the same Savior and Lord, we now have a new chapter in life as “empty nesters” that is about to be written. Together, we have accepted and embraced this new era of time in our lives and hope to continue to be used by God for His purposes and to His glory (I Corinthians 10:31). So, bring it on. Chirp, chirp!